We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
