It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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