the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm getting married
To pizza
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
