Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
