You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
