I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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