i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So vagazzling was a success
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
