I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
