can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize