so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
