You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
