I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
