got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
