im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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