Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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