just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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