have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
