Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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