Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
