Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you would pick up someone in the library
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
