he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
