we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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