It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
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He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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