Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
