In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
