My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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