I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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