First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
