So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
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It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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