STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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