I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
