He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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