I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
