I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
