Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do vagina's smell?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
