you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
