capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
