yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
