Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
