he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
