it hurts more in the daytime
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
