That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
