everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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