oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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