you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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