I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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