WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
