I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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