I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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