I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Couch. On fire.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
