I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
