i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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