It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
