I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i drank out of a bidet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
