My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
