i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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