I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this just has baby written all over it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
