So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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