are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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