i think i have herpe
just one?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
