She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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