need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
